ttthhheeee ppppaaarrrtttyyy

now, i have told many of my friends this story, and the rest were all involved in this story. but it's finally time for me to put pen to paper/fingers to keys and finally get this story some proper exposure.

now in the january of 2007 i was kicked out of high school following a couple of issues, at which point i decided having a party was a good idea. now i needed an excuse for this party, and that was that wrestlemania 23 was coming up on april 1st (a sunday). now because it was on april first and a sunday i expected to weed out the idiots because a. people would think the party was fake and b. it was on a sunday. how wrong i was, because of word of mouth and the easter holidays there were well over 200 people in, outside & on top of my house. now finding out that the estimated list of people coming was tipping 100 people, i decided to inform my mum of this party. i said "10-20 people over to watch 'the wrestling', that's it", she agreed.

she also agreed to stay in her room during this party, which is the only way i would be able to get 100 people in my house without there being trouble.

so at about 4pm martin king and his friends came over, around 7ish the rest of the people started arriving, and continued to. around 8pm i realised my back garden was swarming with people. so i went out to investigate. everyone seemed fined, so i went back and enjoyed myself, after adam, don, i and smiley preformed a version of take that's 'shine' we got some banging tunes on and put the strobe light on. now, anyone that knew don back then knows his hatred for natalya, so it came as a surprise when him and natalya were gettin' aff wae each other all over my couch. don then proceeded to get so hammered it was unbelievable, he locked himself in the toilet with a sober natalya. he was throwing up all down himself and in the toilet, but at the same time he was trying to get his trousers down lmao. so we broke in the door, and got him out of there. at this point i noticed that one kris mcglicnhie had started sleeping in my bed. i proceeded to empty my cupboards all over him to make the third ever victim of wabzies human buckaroo.

so it's about 11pm when my mum shouts me in, complaining about all the people jumping into my neighbours gardens. so i warned everybody etc. when i got back in my mum shouted on me yet again, she told me the neighbours called the police and that they are on there way. so we hid as many people as possible in all the rooms we could. and everybody else sat on my living room floor pretending to get ready for the wrestling.

my mum proceeded to lock the doors after this, so people resorted to climbing in through the window.

so i spent the next 4 hours watching wrestling with about 7 people that were interested in it. the batista vs. undertaker match managed to draw about 20 people in the room and everyone was jumping around crazy for this match.

after wrestlemania ended i scoped out the mess that was my house, the walls were thick with puke as were the sofas.

so i went to check on my bedroom (which at this point was still the cinema room), and the walls, and the cinema screen were covered, in graffiti. so i thought FUCKSAKE and went back inside. as i entered my home, there was a sea of people throwing up left in right within a 15 second period. i thought to myself, this is madness, and went and sat down, i was sat talking to adam when one alyce macpherson proceeded to kiss his neck, i looked away, but my attention was quickly grabbed when adam started hitting a lucazade bottle of my leg, i turned round, she was all over his neck while adam looked distressed. i laughed in hysterics. later adam would say "i probably would have got aff wae her but i didnae know what she looked like".

so 75% of the people cleared off (one with my laptop), and the remainder of us sat watching iranian tv into the wee hours. which included, joe watching a cooking show where the woman had no idea what she was doing for about 2 hours, then they didnt even end it, they put up the words FLASK TIME, and proceeded to show her pour soup out of a flask into a cup, joe had enough, screamed and went to sleep.

so anyways, everyone left the next morning, i went to sleep, woke up 24 hours later and my mum had cleaned the house. she eventually got painters in to repaint EVERYWHERE.

i'm leaving parts of this story out, like all the people who had sex and mcglincie pissing the bed and how shak and lhanna met, but i cant be fucked i might add to this later.

also, i got my laptop back a few weeks ago, after being without for like 28 months.

i leave you with this song, which is the PEAK of music.